Why did I choose my husband?

After days like today, I find myself asking why did I choose Michael. Over everyone else why him? My life was already complicated enough and choosing to marry someone with a child I knew would make my life more complicated. Yeah I expected there to be some drama, a few speed bumps. But I figured I could handle it, or so I thought.

Tonight I sat on the phone with a dear friend of mine, usually I call nanny ( my aunt/ mother) but she was busy with a family dinner so I didn't want to bother her with my crisis. I told Audrey how I was feeling how I was loosing all control and didn't know what the right thing was to do anymore. I had a moment of doubt in my marriage. Sometimes it takes a friend to help me see the bigger picture. I couldn't very well talk to Michael about what I was feeling because I didn't want to make him feel bad. He was already dealing with enough. I continued to tell her how I can't post anything on my blog without people talking it the wrong way. Or how whenever something is said it's twisted around to hurt Michael and I. I asked her what do people want, what do they expect to happen after sending rude comments on my family blog, and sending hate mail to someone who I had design my blog? Do they want Michael and I to get divorced? Do they want me to not have a life? I needed answers to these questions because none of it was making sense. She told me they just want to see Michael and you unhappy and fight. They want to do whatever they can to tear you apart.

Well after I got off the phone with her I asked myself why did I choose Michael. The things that ran through my mind were all the times he made me smile when no one else could. How I am the most important person in his life. And how every great memory and memories to come trumps everything bad going on. Although I may have doubts I have come to realize my doubts aren't in my marriage but in my strength. I am not confident, I don't always see the good in myself. I worry way to much about my life and my choices. But one thing is for sure I know why I chose Michael. I know why fighting this battle together will only bring us closer together. So since I took myself though memory lane I decided I would share a few of those memories with you.

This first one is just Audrey and I on my 21st Birthday. Great friends are hard to find! Thank goodness for the cinnamon rolls at Angies!

Our first camping trip!

Jumping off the dock at Red Fish Lake 

Michael loves to take pictures of me at the worst times!

One of the many songs sent to me

My very first flowers sent from him! 

FIrst time ever cooking me breakfast! He looks so good! 

took me up to his favorite spot in idaho 

Took me golfing for the first time and out to the melting pot!

Our first kissing picture haha! I was having the worst night, and once again he made it better!

It was love at first sight for these two! 

Forst time he had to take me to jail... lesson learned! I dont know why people are so concerned about registration.. ha

The night he popped the question!!

You shout it loud, but I can't hear a word you say

                                                  I'm talking loud, not saying much                                           I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet                                                  you shoot me down, but I get up

I love My life and The reason I chose Michael is because no matter what he makes me push harder to be a better person each day. I wont ever give up. I cant express how much I love him but I can promise you that the words of other people are just words and they will never get between my marriage.  I will try everyday to not doubt myself or my choices. 

Much love, Tonya