RUN!

So my whole life growing up family and friends have told me I need to marry someone patient and try not to run when things get tough or hard.  When things get hard I run. That's just how I have always been. When I was young and I didn't want to deal with something I would run away. Yes it would only be down to the river and I would spend all day out in the fields by the river, I would never actually leave till I got older.

I looked at my sisters phone before I moved and she kept my name Tonya Lynn Day. I asked her why she hadn't changed it to Elgan.. she said well you never know with you. It's not that she thinks Michael and I are horrible for each other she just knows me and knows I'm a runner. I wish I wasn't this way. I wish just because I know I do it I could do somethings about it. I think we all have this in us some more than others. I have never fully understood how perfect Micahel and I are for each other till now. So many times I broke it off with him when we were just dating and he would show up at my door the next day demanding a good explanation as to why I wanted to be "just friends".  When I would tell him that it was because it would be too hard to be with him because of him having a child. How I didn't think I could handle it. Somehow he would always find a way to pull me back in. I don't know how Michael does it. I tell him I can't handle living so far from home. I tell him that this isn't worth it to me. I want to go home. And some how he talks me off the ledge and I find myself  back in his arms. I tell him that this drama we deal with is to much for me. Its to hard to deal with. That I won't do it anymore. Sometimes he gets mad and says 'fine do what you do best and run when things get hard'. he says " marriage isn't easy, living far from home isn't easy, but every marriage has struggles has there own battles and these are ours. We can get through this together". He says I am always looking or the easy way out. Michael and I got in an argument the other night and Honestly it was just like a clip from the note book. He told me to not take the easy way out and I told him there was no easy way out because no matter what I do someone gets hurt. He just looked at me and said:

 "we are all human, we all second guess everything you are just more vocal about it than most. You are honest when you are scared and I love that. Because I always know how you are feeling. I love you and I know we can get through any stupid hoop thrown our way if I you just trust me. I don't care how many times you try to run, it doesn't hurt me because its who you are. Just know Im going to be two steps ahead of you because I have longer legs and I have red hair'.

I have found the most patient man. I finally know why my family has been telling me I need someone very patient. Michael is the most amazing man, I got lucky. We have such a deep love for each other that I have no doubt that we cant make it through anything. Michael and I rarely get in an argument because we can't go five minutes with out laughing or hugging. I cant get really mad at him because just looking at him brings a smile to my face.

Just to prove to you how we cant ever be to serious. When I want to be serious or tell him how important something is but I cant help but smile because of him..   I tell him Im only smiling because I am trying to fight back tears.. (lie) Then he gets serious with me.  hah.

This morning we both woke up at six and laid in bed teasing and cuddling each other for about twenty minutes

 It was the perfect way to start my day. I love how cute he is in the morning. You take pictures of your kids sleeping I take pictures of my husband. :)  I cant wait for him to get off work so we can go to the beach and get started on our weekend!

I am not perfect and I may not always handle situations like people think I should. I am human and all I can do is try.

Much love, Tonya